


5 times Yurio wants to punch Victor (and Yuuri) in the faces for being embarrassing/annoying + 1 time he doesn't

by JustBeHappy



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: 5+1 Things, M/M, Pining, VictUuri, Yurio is so done, but he can be a big softie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-09-21 08:47:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9540365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustBeHappy/pseuds/JustBeHappy
Summary: Above title is self-explanatory.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I live for pissed-off Yurio! XDDD

 1.  _Russian Nationals and Japanese Nationals_

Yurio had no idea what he had done in his previous life to deserve such horror in his life. Maybe he accidentally roller-skated across a kitten or killed a cat with his skates or something equally bad to cats.

 Because currently, Victor was being extremely distracting and loud when he was face-timing Yuuri at the side of the rink when he was supposed to be practicing for the Russian Nationals only one week away from now. One week! And Yakov was yelling his head off at Victor, causing a high level of noise pollution at the rink. 

 ' VITYA!!! GET OFF YOUR PHONE NOW!' Yakov screamed, and Georgi plugged his fingers into his ears, skating away with a small huff. ' IF YOU FAIL TO MEDAL IN THE NATIONALS, I SHALL PERSONALLY SMASH YOUR PHONE ON THE WALL! Oh man, why did I even believe you when you said you could get your programs ready in two weeks?'

 The noise level was too much, and Yurio fell on his Quad Salchow. HE ALMOST NEVER FELL ON HIS QUAD SALCHOWS IN PRACTICE SINCE HE COULD DO IT! This was embarrassing! 

 ' AUGH!' Yurio got up at once, and shouted at Victor with a volume that rivalled Yakov and Lilia's added together. ' STOP IT, OLD MAN!'

 ' What?' Victor asked innocently, after blowing a kiss to Yuuri through his phone screen. ' Did I do anything?'

 Yurio almost fainted on the spot. 

 He knew when Victor seriously proclaimed he would be coming back to competition mode, it was too good to be true.

 As soon as he got wind from Mila that the Japanese Nationals and Russian Nationals would be happening within the same week, he knew that disaster would strike. Hard.

 Even when Yuuri and Victor parted ways in Barcelona after the Grand Prix Finals, with Yuuri flying back to Japan and Victor being dragged by Yakov back to Russia with much finality, Yurio had this impending feeling of doom lodged in his mind.

 Yes. He was very correct. 

 Instead of hovering at the national team ice rink for 24/7 in full competition mode to perfect his program, Victor procrastinated to the fullest. Yakov had expected the seven-time Russia Nationals champion to be slightly... well, defensive on his title, but he wasn't. He face-timed and texted Yuuri all day long, and sometimes Yurio questioned if Yuuri needed to practice or sleep at all. Well, around 6 hours of time difference and all that. 

 Yurio should be happy. The small selfish part inside him told him he should be happy that Victor was slacking off, so he could have a better shot at getting his first gold at the Russian Nationals. 

 But the real competitive part of him wanted Victor to put on his best performance, so he could win against him fair and square.

 Aaaand the extremely angry part of him was furious at Victor for causing Yakov to blow up like supernova, distracting him and all the kind of stuff.

 Just two days ago, Victor woke him up in the middle of the night (2 am in the morning!!!) with a phone call after a particularly tough ballet day, bemoaning about how lonely Yuuri would be without a coach. After screaming at Victor with all kinds of unflattering curses in the book, Yurio actually opened a secret ice skater group chat (no Victor, of course), and begged the other skaters with no competitions at the moment to go to Japan to support the pig and silence Victor. 

 Luckily, the others rose to the challenge and answered Yurio's pleas for help. Phichit Chulanot said his coach would be happy to stand in as Yuuri's coach for two days and he himself had similar plans of following Ciao Ciao to Japan. Chris wasn't free, but he said he would be supporting Yuuri via live television. Guang-hong and Leo said they would be flying over if their coaches allowed them to. 

 He laid back onto his bed with his beloved cat, thinking the matter was settled.

 It wasn't.

 The next day, Victor went on to moan about how he wasn't able to go see Yuuri skate. Yurio had an urge to stuff Victor in a box and just send him back to Hasetsu.

*** 

 How Yurio managed to survive the following week, he didn't know. But he was definitely fuming when he arrived at the Russian Nationals venue with his fellow skaters. He was not in the mood for skating Agape, and Allegro Appassionato fitted his mood more. 

  When it was his time to take the ice, he filtered all thoughts of Victor from his head and tried to think about his grandfather only. It worked, fortunately, and he broke the Russian world record set by Victor around six years ago easily. 

  He sat down at the spectators stand reserved for skaters, and waited for the very love-sick Living Legend to skate again after his one year hiatus. Oh, with the Japanese Nationals happening at the same time in Japan, he wouldn't be surprised if Victor tripped on all his jumps, judging that he spent a little time practicing and mooning over his lover's performance. 

 But no. Victor effing Nikiforov skated a perfectly clean performance to a sappy love song even with minimal practice, and he skived the announcement of his scores at the Kiss and Cry plus interviews because he said he was going to miss the live stream of the Japanese Nationals. He shattered the Russian World Record set by Yurio just minutes earlier. 

 He reappeared at Mila's Short Program, bugging Yakov, Georgi and Yurio endlessly about how Yuuri came first in his SP with a perfectly skated Eros program and Minami came second. Mila, returning from finishing first, commented a love-sick Victor was adorable.

 Yurio disagreed with all his might.

 At night, he Skyped Otabek and complained about Victor. Fortunately Beka was always there to listen to him. Moving to Kazakhstan seemed like a pretty good and doable idea. Maybe Yakov could join him.

***

 The next day was worse.

 By worse, Yurio meant that Yuuri won the Japanese Nationals with his superbly skated FS and Victor got extremely jealous before his own FS, because Phichit posted a large group photo of skaters hugging Yuuri. Guang-hong, Leo and even Chris (who got there in the last minute) were tagged in the photo. Minami got silver, and could be seen bawling his eyes at the corner because his ultimate idol Yuuri put an arm over his shoulder.

 ' NOOOOOOOO I want to be with Yuuri NOOO! I missed his first gold medal!!! NOOO! THAT'S NOT TRUE! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!' He wailed suddenly in the locker room, and all the other skaters shot weird looks at the Living Legend. 

 Yurio was particularly mortified when a fellow competitor under a different coach nudged him, ' Oi Plisetsky, what is wrong with Nikiforov? Is he attacked by Darth Vader or something?'

 ' Or is he possessed by Darth Vader?' Another skater snorted. 

 ' I DO NOT KNOW THIS OLD MAN,' Yurio glowered, and stomped outside in his skates.

  Aaaaaand the said Old Man took home his eighth Russian Nationals gold medal, by suitably projecting his longing into his Free Skate. He got top presentation scores in his passionate step sequences that rivalled Georgi's heartbroken and Yurio's angry ones. Even though Yurio projected his anger and disgust for the older Russian man with every fibre of his being into his Allegro Appassionato, ultimately, he was outmatched by Victor's sappy heart sickness with at least twenty marks to spare. 

 He hissed like an angry cat, while Victor went extremely sappy and started to pretend his golden ring was Yuuri. ' Yuuri and I have matching golden medals, yay!' On the other side, Georgi was holding his bronze medal, teary-eyed.

 Yurio was pissed. He had no idea whether he was pissed because Victor was being insanely sappy/disgusting/gross or that he won against him with only two weeks of preparation (seriously?! His six months old program was beaten by a two-week old program?!). 

 He really wanted to punch Victor in his face. 

 

2.  _St. Petersburg Training_

That was it. Yurio really wanted to fly to Kazakhstan and leave Yakov with those two lovey dovey jerks. 

 He had originally thought that Victor would be less love-sick when Yuuri was finally around him after their respective Nationals, but no. Wrong again, kiddo!

  Yurio actually swallowed down his pride and asked Yuuri to help him with his step sequences when Lilia was away at an international ballet conference. As much as he hated to admit it, Yuuri was better at expressing himself through step sequences thanks to his ballet background. But no! Victor had to hover over the Katsudon and flirt with him all day long!

 Yurio was slowly swelling in fury. He wasn't going to have his pride swallowed for nothing! He got to have Yuuri give him advice on his step sequences, even if it meant hitting Victor in the face. 

 ' Oi Victor! Can you stop hogging over Katsudon for just a minute?!' He bellowed, tapping his foot on the ice to show how impatient he was.

 ' Sorry Yurio!' Yuuri had the decency to blush. ' Victor has become super clingy these days.'

 ' But you like it, don't you?' Victor giggled, and Yurio pretended to vomit, ' EW!!! GROSS! NOW GET OFF THE ICE IF YOU ARE NOT SKATING, OLD MAN! HAVE I REALLY SINNED THAT MUCH IN MY PAST LIFE TO DESERVE THIS?'

 Victor actually listened and got off the ice.

 ' Right,' Yuuri said, huffing. ' I was just wanting to say... For the ending part of Agape, you could- VICTOR!' 

 ' AUGGHGGHGHGHHHHHHHHHH!' 

 Victor was actually making kissy faces at their direction, and Yurio really wanted an eye wash bottle. And some boxing gloves. 

 

3\. _Grand Prix Finals Marseille, the Banquet_

His fans and reporters thought he would be angry at Yuuri for taking the gold medal, and leaving him with bronze. They thought he would be mad at Victor for breaking the SP world record again.

 But no. Those things didn't tick him off as much as the interview and the way the two of them were behaving. You know, lovey-dovey as usual, getting married and bla bla bla. 

 At the banquet, Yurio sulked next to the drinks table. He was forced by Yakov (again) to wear a suit, and he seriously wanted to hunt for his favourite tiger jacket to bury himself in. And he wasn't allowed to consume alcoholic beverages, so he clutched at a boring glass of soda. 

 On the dance floor, surprisingly, Victor and Yuuri were behaving modestly. Yuuri was sober again, because he said he wanted to always remember his banquets, and he turned down all the glasses of champagne from Chris and Phichit. Those mischievous two had always been trying to slip him champagne since Barcelona.

  The DJ was playing all the songs from the skaters' programs to pay respect to them before jamming up some real music, and currently, Victor and Yuuri were dancing to the calm waltz piece that belonged to Otabek's FS. Phichit hovered around them, taking photos with his phone in delight to post on his fan club. 

 Otabek didn't dance, so he walked over to Yurio's side and they began chatting. Otabek showed him pictures of his new cat and Yurio turned on his phone to show him his pictures of his cat as well. He was beginning to enjoy this evening. No noises, no crazy PDA and nothing out of ordinary. 

 There was a sound of breaking glass.

 No noises, no crazy PDA and nothing out of ordinary, huh? You know what, scratch that.

  Victor, who was dancing just minutes earlier, had drunkenly climbed onto a table. Several glasses of champagne littered the floor, and Yurio knew what had happened.

 ' Oh gosh, I just went to the bathroom!' Yuuri panted, appearing next to Yurio. ' Did he drink when I was away?'

 Then, right in front of many skaters, reporters and important ISU officials (including the esteemed president of the ISU), he started to shout, ' YUURI AND I ARE GOING TO GET MARRIED! YAY!'

 Reporters started to take photos with glee. ISU officials seemed rather baffled. Chris whistled, and Yurio groaned. 

 Yuuri panicked, and pulled at Victor, ' Victor! You had too much to drink! Come back down, please-'

 ' WHEEEE! HERE IS MY BEAUTIFUL FIANCE!' Victor shouted again, all dignity forgotten. ' CAN YOU SEE? YUURI IS ADORABLE AND I LOVE HIM! I LOVE HIM A LOT!' 

 Some of the attendees actually seemed touched by his drunken confession. Yurio gagged on his soda.

 ' AND HERE WE HAVE OUR SON!' Victor pointed at Yurio. 

 Wait. What? SON?!

 The room was in an uproar, and every single camera was directed at Yurio's face.

 Yurio was half dying in embarrassment and anger. Otabek was frozen by his side, gaping.

 ' OUR SON!' Victor boomed, loud enough for everyone to hear. ' AW IT SEEMS LIKE A LONG TIME AGO WHEN YAKOV BROUGHT THIS CUTE ANGRY KITTEN TO THE RINK! HE HAS COME SO FAR! I AM SO PROUD OF HIM.'

 Yurio, who had recovered by just a fraction, shook his fist at Victor, ' I AM NOT YOUR SON, OLD MAN! KATSUDON, GET HIM DOWN FROM THERE!'

 ' I am trying!' Yuuri shouted back, holding onto Victor's leg. ' He ain't moving!' 

 ' MY SON! I AM YOUR FATHER!' Victor slurred, nearly toppling over.

 ' Gee, he's now quoting Star Wars?' Otabek muttered.

 ' You are not helping!' Yurio hissed. ' Great! I am now the laughing stock of the figure skating world and Russia, because Victor effing Nikiforov says I am his son. What will my grandfather say?'

 ' I MISS YOU, SON! MAKE YOUR PAPA PROUD, WILL YOU, SON?' Victor yelled.

 ' Beka.'

 ' Huh?'

 ' We are getting out of here.'

 ' Huh? Where?' Otabek seemed alarmed.

 ' Kazakhstan,' Yurio pulled Otabek by the hand. ' We are going to Kazakhstan.' 

 They were halfway to the exit, when Victor let out a wounded cry, ' NOOOOOO MY SON!!! DON'T LEAVE ME!' Then he proceeded to sing an off-tune version of Stammi Vicino.

 Face burning in embarrassment, Yurio stormed out of the building.

 He really should punch Victor in the face for ruining his image.

 

4.  _Winter Olympics 2018 Opening Ceremony, Pyeongchang_

Yurio knew that all hell would break loose when Yuuri had to go back to Japan to gear up for the Winter Olympics under the JSF's request two months before the actua thing. Victor was unable to be his coach this time, because he had to stay in Russia.

 The situation was almost like the Russian Nationals all over again, with Victor pining endlessly and Mila sighing about how adorable they were. Luckily, he was fished away by the Russia Olympic authorities to have his first Olympic jacket fitted, and the Russia Skating Federation called Yakov away for a meeting on the team trophy assignments.

 Yurio was picked to skate the SP, and Victor was picked to skate the FS. Mila would be skating both the SP and FS for females. It was a bit of a joke, but since Anastasia's partner was injured, Georgi switched to ice dancing just for the Olympics. 

 On the other side, Yuuri was picked by the JSF to skate both the SP and FS for men, since Minami wasn't able to qualify for the Olympics yet. 

 Victor kept barging into practice, smiling proudly, ' My Yuuri has been picked to skate both SP and FS! I am so proud of him!'

 Yurio only answered with a noncommittal jerk of his head. At least the Old Man was too distracted about the Olympic assignments to pine after Katsudon.

 However, disaster struck again when they arrived at Pyeongchang. The Russian Team and the Japanese Team would be staying at different hotels, so Victor wouldn't be able to see Yuuri.

 ' NOOOOO!' Victor wailed for what seemed like the umpteenth time in the same hour, his luggage still not properly unloaded.

 ' Cut it off,' Yurio snapped. ' You might be able to catch a glimpse of him in the opening rehearsal. Japan is behind us, right?'

 ' But I am the flag holder! And Yuuri is the flag holder too!' 

 Yurio put on his headphones and played heavy rock music to blot out the sound. 

 In the end, they couldn't see Yuuri at the rehearsal, which caused another night's worth of pining and wailing.

 Yurio was grateful Otabek got him earplugs. 

 ***

 ' Russian Federation! With Victor Nikiforov holding the flag!'

 Once they heard the cue, they marched out to the stadium, every single one of them wearing the trademark red and white Olympic Team jackets. Victor was actually holding the flag in concentration. Mila squealed behind them, holding miniature Russian flags. 

 Yurio blinked, and he also waved his miniature Russian flags in the direction of the blinking lights around the stadium. 

 ' Japan! Yuuri Katsuki is holding the flag.'

 Victor strained his neck in hopes to catch a glimpse of his fiancé, and Yurio nearly crashed into him, so he leaned backwards. Behind him, an ice hockey player scowled at Yurio for almost hitting him. 

 ' Yuuuuuri! Where's my Yuuuuuri?' 

 ' Oh gosh, go on, Old Man! Stop being lovesick! We are in the middle of the ceremony, for heaven's sake!' Yurio hissed, pushing Victor by the back. He could see Katsudon, smiling nervously, and dressed in the red and white Japanese Team jacket specifically designed for this occasion. 

 When they entered the allocated area for the Russian Team, Victor continued to whine throughout the entire performance. The opening ceremony was delightful and beautiful, but Yurio couldn't concentrate, many thanks to Victor. And there was no way he could flee the ceremony like how he did in the Grand Prix banquet. 

 There was a giant television, and camcorders broadcasted the spectator stands onto it. When the camcorder zoomed over the Japanese stands, Victor fainted and swooned at the sight of Yuuri.

 Yurio face-palmed himself, resisting the urge to punch Victor in front of international television when the Russian Team was displayed live onto the television. 

 

 5.  _Best Man?!_

 ' Yurio! I want you to be the Best Man!' 

 Yurio was putting together his new routine when Victor just said casually to him.

 ' What the hell?!' Yurio skidded to a halt on the ice. ' Why?!'

 ' Because you are our son!' Victor announced with pride.

 Yurio scowled deeply, ' Don't even remind me of the Marseille banquet. My reputation was nearly ruined, thanks to you. Why don't you ask Chulanot or Giacometti to be the Best Man? I'm sure they will like it.'

 ' Oh, Phichit is Yuuri's Best Man, but you are MY best man,' Victor grinned at him.

 Yurio was starting to get really pissed, ' SO ASK GIACOMETTI! ISN'T THE MAN YOUR BEST FRIEND OH LORD! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!'

 ' Chris is my best friend,' Victor admitted. ' But  _you,_ are my best-est friend.'

 For one second, Yurio was actually flummoxed, ' Uh... Well. Eh. Not sure if this word even exists...'

 ' Great! You agreed!' Victor gave him thumbs-up, and skated away. 

 Yurio shrugged it off, and went back to planning his newest routines. Later, when he got out of the ice to take a brief water break, he realised his phone was buzzing from notifications.

 He found the 'culprit' in just a few seconds.

  **v_nikiforov:** Our beloved son has agreed to be our best man!!! Dad's so proud of you ^♡^ Love you! #victuuri #throwback #proud #ourbelovedson #kitten

  **57k likes**

**View all 23k comments**

**victuuri_fanclub:** KYAAAAA! BLESS YOUR SON! Totally reminded of the Marseille banquet haha! 

  **Yuri_angels:** omg SO PRECIOUS!!! YURATCHKA THE SON OF VICTUURI! <33333333

  **mila_b:** Proud of your son, Victor! 

 

 Yurio screamed in rage, making a mental note to punch Victor in the face the next time he saw him.

 

6.  _The Wedding_

' The grooms may kiss.'

 Nope. Nope. Nope. Yurio wasn't going to cry. The Russian Punk never cried.

 The sappy speech Victor said was touching (yes, he had to admit), and it was a brilliant summary of the two's journey from the Sochi GPF to the Marseille GPF and the love that had blossomed between them.

 Even though Yurio thought those two were gross, he couldn't help but feel touched (just a bit) by the speech. Yakov and Lilia were actually crying. Mila and Georgi bawled. Phichit looked like he was about to explode, and kept taking photos and selfies on three of his cameras he had prepared just for this occasion.

 He allowed himself to sniffle for just a bit, when Victor grinned at his direction, ' I believe it's time for the Best Man's speech.'

 Yurio hadn't actually prepared for it. 

 He simply took the microphone, scowled into it, ' Good afternoon, everyone. I haven't prepared, so this will be a short rant of how much I love and hate these two. Well, Victor Drama Queen Nikiforov, and Yuuri Katsuki the ultimate Katsudon-lover, congratulations. Congratulations for getting married after being disgustingly gross in front of the Skate Family for nearly two years. God knows how many times I wish for an eye wash bottle and to punch you in the face. You two may be disgusting or overly affectionate, but I would like to thank you two on behalf of the entire Skate Family. Thank you for making training sessions fun with your sappiness. Thank you for showering us with your endless affection. Thank you for being overly caring. Thank you for making katsudon. Thank you for comforting us in times of sadness with your ridiculous optimism. And no thank you, I am not your son. End of story.' He handed the microphone to Phichit.

 ' Wow,' Victor said, astonished. ' This might be your nicest compliments yet. We were actually expecting you to swear at us.' 

 ' Be thankful,' Yurio growled. ' I am not that nice everyday.'

 Yes, he was feeling nice today. And maybe, for once, he would actually agree with Mila that those two were cute together.

 

7.  _Bonus_

A photo of Yurio holding back his tears and a full video of his speech were uploaded onto Instagram (there was no doubt Phichit took them). 

 

 **v_nikiforov:** Absolutely touched by our son's heartfelt speech. Awww don't cry! #married #soproud #bestsonever #preciousson #ourbelovedson #prouddads

  **59k likes**

**View all 27k comments**

**Yuri_angels:** I am crying. Don't cry, Yuratchka!!! AWWWWW! 

  **yuri_plisetsky:** AUGGHGHGHGHHHHHH I AM GOING TO WEAR YOUR SKIN!!! I'M GOING TO HAVE YOUR SOUL! I AM GOING TO PUNCH YOU WHEN I FIND YOU OKAY NIKIFOROV DO YOU HEAR ME! 

  **v_nikiforov:** First, it's Katsuki-Nikiforov. Second, you don't speak to your dad like this, son! *♡*

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much! 
> 
> Please comment to tell me what you think! :D I love to hear from others.


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